Highway Gothic

This was my latest entry in the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Contest. Hope you like it as much as I did. BTW very away about the poor formatting couldn’t do anything about it sorry.

“Should we even be here?” Moran looked around the old farmhouse kitchen, his eyes slowly adjusting to the dark.

Although clearly abandoned the house still held a good amount of furniture. There was no electricity and it was far enough from the road to give them plenty of privacy for what each had in mind.

“Yeah,” Lyla said, adjusting the penlight and training it on the floor. “It’s a foreclosure. Family lost the farm, the house, everything. There’s a sad and tragic story about it but that’s not why I brought you here. Come on,” she commanded.

She shifted the bag on her shoulder, focused the light on the floor in front of her and left the room with Moran close at her heels.

They went up a flight of stairs, clean bare spots on the wall marked where family pictures use to hang. Dim moonlight filtered in through the grimy windows. A strange electricity hung in the air.

With each step, the basket he carried threatened to slip from his sweaty palms. His heart thudded in his ears. He focused on her backside and watched her ass as it swished up the stairs. Such a shame.

Lyla stopped at one of the bedroom doors and pushed it open. Moran expected the hinges to scream in protest. When they didn’t he knew he wasn’t the first Lyla brought here. He was sure he would be the last.

She dropped the bag and pulled out a blanket that she spread over an old mattress that lay on the floor.

“Get the wine,” she ordered, slipping out of her shoes.

Moran dropped the basket, cringing at the sound of clanking glass. He made a silent prayer that nothing broke. He was going to need some liquid courage.

The picnic basket was meant for two, typically accommodating enough for a simple spread. Tonight only two glasses, two bottles of wine and a corkscrew had been packed inside.

Moran poured the wine maybe adding a little more in his glass than hers.

They sipped in silence but soon the mood overtook them and clothes were shed. Heavy breathing ensued.

Moran lay on his back, staring up at the peeling paint. The mattress had been more comfortable than he would have guessed and the sex was good – no, it was actually better than he had had in a long time. Both had worked up a good hot sweat.

Lyla’s naked body lay across his, making it impossible to cool down. He ached for her to get off but didn’t think it would bode well if he told her to move. He needed her nice and calm, unsuspecting.

The air started to cool and he could hear the wind wrestle the trees outside. From far away there was a flash of lightning and a low rumble of thunder.

“It’s gonna rain,” she said, tracing a lazy finger over his chest.

“Did you want to go?”

“Not yet,” she said, leaning in close and kissing him. “Plus, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away,” he said. His eyelids drooped and he could feel a post-coital nap coming on.

“I mean, it was good tonight, right?”

“Um hmmm,”

“Well then maybe to make sure we can do it again…”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“With Atlas out of the way that can happen. We could kill my husband.”

“Funny,” he said, waking up. This was his business. “He asked me the same thing.”

Her fingers stopped mid-stroke and her body stiffened. He could sense the panic in her face.

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him sure.”

She was up in a flash, crab-walking away from him as fast as her legs and arms could take her.

“If he’s paying you I can give you more,” she said

Was she begging for her life?

“Of course he’s paying me. What kinda guy does this for free?”

She had knocked over the wine glasses. The air was now thick with electricity and sour grapes.

“It’ll be over real quick, I’ll make sure of it. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

Moran stepped slowly towards her while her hands scoured the floor, feeling for something to defend herself with.

There was a large bang from downstairs that stopped Moran in his tracks.

“What was that?” He strained and listened for noise to repeat.

Lyla took advantage of his pause and ran for the door. He reached out and grabbed a handful of her hair pulling her back into the room.

“Ow, leggo.”

He laughed a deep bellowing sound that echoed in the small room. He wrapped his long fingers around her neck.

“Too bad. You were pretty good in the sack.” He smiled as he squeezed.

Lyla’s eyes rolled back in her head as he choked the life from her.

In a too fast movement, she brought her hand up and drove the corkscrew she had grabbed into the side of Moran’s neck. A spray of blood splashed the wall.

“Bitch,” he gurgled, releasing his grip and falling to his knees.

His hand instinctively went to the wound. Dark, blue black blood spilled through his fingers.

“Bitch,” he said again, this time barely above a whisper.

A flash of lightning lit the room. Lyla gasped. Moran’s bloodless face turned to hers. Then he fell on his face, a sickening crunch as his nose broke.

There was another bang and Atlas entered the room.

“You said you was gonna wait for me,” Atlas whined. “It was my turn to kill ’em.”

“You took too long and he was too fast. You’ll get the next one.” She walked over to where the basket lay.

“That’s what you said the last time.” Atlas poked the dead man with his boot “Corkscrew to the neck, wasn’t that in a book?”

She shrugged.

“Either way, you got ’em good baby.”

“We got him,” she said taking a swig of wine straight from the bottle. “We’ll get them all.”


Who do I think I am

Yes it’s been awhile and I’m eager to bore you with the details of my vacation, (I have slides!) But first I wanted to tell you about my recent movie visit.

I just recently went to see The Dark Tower. I wanted to love this movie, several reasons most notably Idris Alba. 2014-09-26 06.19.19

I really wanted all those haters to shut the F*&# up, oh yeah spoiler alert I swear. Those who felt a black guy couldn’t be the Gunslinger that some how it ruined the integrity of the movie (losers). I also wanted more and more of these movies. I love the Dark Tower Series.

Anyway, I saw the movie and I wasn’t happy. Why wasn’t I happy, well one I didn’t like the fact that they didn’t have enough Idris, I need 2 hours of just looking into his dreamy eyes. Two I hated HATED the dialogue. I totally thought I could do better. Please go see the movie and listen to the lines they gave these people it was awful. Why do I think was awful most likely because I pay attention now and I also think I can do better.

Wait wait wait, Kristie, why do you think you can do a better job than those who work in Hollywood and get paid big bucks to write movies? Well, I think we know me enough by now to know I know everything and I think I’m better than everyone. Plus trust me anyone could have written this better.

Go ahead watch the movie and let me know what you think.

Weight Weight Don’t Tell Me

Hey, yeah yeah where have YOU been!

I’ve tried in the past to lose weight. I’ve done it and it missed me so much it came back.  This time since it missed me so much it decided it needed to bring some friends along to make sure it stays. So two weeks ago I decided I was going to join Weight Watchers again. I don’t know what your opinion of the company is I didn’t join it because Oprah was I joined it because I had a thought.  

My mother complains she can’t do a lot of things because she is “OLD” (her words)  I, on the other hand, can’t do a lot of things because I’m fat. I realized she can’t do anything about being old. I on the other hand can do a lot about being fat. 

It is not easy but I’m taking you on this ride with me so buckle up.

I want to first show you the dinner I made today I’ll try to provide you with things each week so you get idea of what I’m eating. Because I know you’ll love it. 

4 Small Spaghetti Squash – cut in half coated with spray olive oil, salt and pepper. Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes or until fork can pierce easily.

For sauce one can of crushed tomatoes, one small can of tomato paste, one can of tomato sauce. Heat in sauce pot with salt paper, garlic powder, onion powder, Italian seasoning to taste while your squash is in the oven.

Brown ground turkey in pan, add onion, garlic and spinach. I used frozen for all so I added at the end. Again salt and pepper to taste.

I looked for low fat ricotta cheese but skim milk or some such nonsense. 2 cups one egg mix well.

Once squash has cooled use fork to get the meat, in the empty shell put ricotta cheese mix, squash, ground turkey mixture, red sauce, 1/2 of mozzarella cheese. Bake at 325 (yeah I forgot to tell you to lower the temp) bake for 1/2 hour watch it because you don’t want the edges to burn like mine did but of course if you ask anyone in my house I burn everything. 


It’s because I’m black isn’t it?

Hello, everyone. It is another day in the life of a ranting lunatic so hold on.

Recently at work, I received a promotion. This promotion required a training period but since I was already doing the job I didn’t have to attend each and every minute of training and since the people in my training class were mostly straight out of college, and I was already established with the company I didn’t have to spend every waking day set up in temp housing with them.

My class consisted of about 13 people including myself, two white guys one black guy two other black women and the rest were white, well there was an Asia woman but for some reason I think they are socially more accepted than black people, don’t ask me why I think we are the only ones who are prosecuted but go figure, anyway after training and going to your prospective department/branch you automatically are promoted. You get promoted if you suck cause trust me there have been people around here who have sucked, and they get a promotion, not naming any names but everybody follow my eyes.

So I’ve checked, and all but two people from my training class have received a promotion. Would you like to guess who those people are?  Yes, you guessed it the two black women. Now I’m a little pissed about it. No no that’s not right I’m  a lot pissed about it, and I have no one to complain to so I’m complaining to you. It may not mean much to you, but it bugs the piss outta me.

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t think I got along with them all that well. It could because I’m a bitch, it could because I don’t get along with anyone, it could be that I thought they were sassy, and I think I’m the only one allowed to be sassy, it could be that I don’t appreciate other black women (something for some reason makes me think it’s this), or it could be that they just really suck at their job, and they aren’t going anywhere with the company. But I don’t think so.

I’m beginning to think my mother was right (DO NOT TELL HER I SAID THIS). I don’t think they are appreciated. I think the ‘sass’ that is typically associated with black women is erroneously thought of as something bad. Or maybe because we don’t sit demurely by or bat our eyes and look passively cute. We don’t do the same thing other people do. Everyone is different, the management of my company likes to remind me of that every day so I can ‘engage’ my team. It just feels like they should be reminded of that.

Ugh I don’t like this Movie

As you know, I sometimes watch movies.  I have recently seen some of the pretty big ones. 10 Cloverfield Ln, Zootopia and most recently Batman vs. Superman. I’m going to tell you about the others but let me tell you about Batman vs Superman first.



Ugh I don’t like this book

I liked Lex Luther. I liked Wonder Woman (even though she was underused) I liked how they tried to introduce the rest of the team. I even kinda liked Ben Affleck’s Batman even though I spent most of the movie looking for Christian Bale and wondering why he decided he needed to use that awful voice.


But God I hated Superman. I don’t know if this was something new I just found out about myself or if I always had a disdain for Superman but man I hated Super.

I also am finding it very annoying that we spend all of a movie or book setting you up for the sequel. I just found this out recently when I watched The Maze Runner (yes I’m late to the party) but really, really, really, really, I just invested 90 minutes into your movie and the best you can do make me watch something more? I don’t want to. Let me know when you have finished the movie and I’ll come back.  Thanks.

I know I’m in the minority when it comes to BvsS bashing (next to the movie critics that hated it as much as I did). But besides the who 2 hrs and 30 minutes being a setup, I hated Lois Lane and Clark Kent/Superman romance, didn’t buy it for a minute. Maybe I had to watch the first one to see the love but let me tell you I shouldn’t have too.



The Great Escape

This is my entry to Round 2 – Heat 12  for the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge.

This was a really tough one for me, I ended round 1 with only 1 point so most likely not moving on but what doesn’t kill you only makes you regret ever doing it in the first place. I’m pretty sure that’s how the saying goes.

The Great Escape

Two toys find what they are looking for while on the run.


It was late at night in the Miss Karin Day School when I heard it. Not necessarily a crash, but something.

I looked at my team, they all stood with their backs to me, upset by my repeated escape attempts. They couldn’t understand my motives and I didn’t understand their nervelessness. Being the most popular toy wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

I approached the edge cautiously and peered over.  Pretty Paula blinked up at me.

“What are you doing?” I called down.

She used her hand to prop up her head. “I’m running away with you.”

“What am I, the circus?”

“Look I heard you, spending all those nights planning. You needed someone to give you a kick. But I can’t kick you. You’re way up there.”

“Hold on, I’ll help you back up.”

I took the string I found in the toy box and tied it to one end of my Action Humvee.

When I reached her I said, “This is why I plan,” I shook my head. “What were you doing? Just jump and hope everything worked out?”

“Well, yeah.”

“That sounds like a really crappy plan.” I said helping her up. “Okay, now back up you go.” I said.

“Adam, I’m not going back up there. Come on, we’ll run away together,” she pulled on my sleeve.

“No,” I said, “we’ve got to get back on the shelf.”

“Adam, you spend your nights trying to escape. Come on, we’ll be free!”

She threw up her arms and spun around. Her head flopped and she fell.

“I’m a little top heavy,” She giggled.

“I’m not sure tonight’s the right night to go.”

“Of course it is,” she squealed running across the room. She tried a cartwheel but wobbled and fell down. I ran over to her.

“Are you okay?”

“My head’s packed full of fluff, guess cartwheels are out of the question.”

I helped her up, she smelled like tempera paint and play-dough, wonderful.

“You can let go now,” she said.

I looked down, my hands must have been faulty, the grip wouldn’t let go.

“Oh, sorry.” I said releasing her.

I looked down at my Action Boots then back up at her. Wow, she was pretty. I could see why she was so popular with the little girls. Black yarn hair, blue button eyes, red rosy cheeks, she was perfect.

“So what’s it going to be, Adam?”

I looked back over my shoulder, up at my team, they were watching now waiting for me to make my decision.

“Adam,” she said again.

I adjusted my Action Pack, waved to my friends, and ran with Paula to the window. It was cracked open a bit but I fit through just fine. I gave her the all clear and I saw her legs come through, then her body, followed by her arms, then she stopped.

“What’s the hold up?”

“My head is stuck.”


I climbed back up to her and sure enough her head was still inside the window while her body flailed outside. Since she went legs first her dress was up over her head. I didn’t peak. Well, I may have peaked a little.

With a little bit of cajoling we managed to get her unstuck.

“I can’t help but think this fluff is better served somewhere else.” She stood up, her head flopped to the side. She lost her balance and fell to the ground.

“Maybe my bottom?”

I laughed

“I guess I should take it easy.”

I nodded, “Come on, across the sandbox straight to the parking lot.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s on my Action Map.” I took my backpack off my shoulder and pulled out the map. “See?”

She put a hand on my arm as she studied the map with me.

“I don’t see it, but I trust you.” She placed a kiss on my cheek and I fell back on my butt.

“Is there something wrong with your legs?” She asked.

“No,” I mumbled getting back up.

“Well, we’ll go slowly just in case.”

Everything was fine until we got to the sandbox.

“Where are you and pretty legs going?” Freddie the Frog appeared out of nowhere, I would have been mad at him, if Paula hadn’t been so surprised by his sudden appearance that she jumped into my arms.

“What do you want, Freddie?” He was a big ugly green thing with a cigarette holder in his mouth, no cigarette, just the holder.

“You and your girlfriend trying to escape?”

“We are just seeing what’s on the other side.” I said.

“Nothing!” he shouted, “Nothing’s on the other side!”

“That’s not true,” Paula protested. “We’re getting out of here.”

“Why would you want to leave such a cushy job, Adam? You’re one of the most popular toys. And you, Paula, you’re a real doll.” Freddie shook his head.

“Shove off, Freddie.”

“You’ll never make it, Action Adam.”

I ignored him and we trudged on. It took a while, but we made it through the sandbox. Climbing over the edge I could see light peeking over the horizon.  The last obstacle was a chain-link fence. Paula again went legs first but her head got stuck.

“You go ahead, Adam, at least one of us will get out.”

“No,” I said crawling back through. I pushed and pushed but it was no use I couldn’t move her fluff-filled head.

“I was just made wrong I guess.” She traced a hand over the scars drawn on to my face. “It’s okay, this was your dream.”

“I would never have made it this far if it wasn’t for you, Paula,” I kissed her rosy cheek.

I sat down next to her and we watched the sunrise together.

“Goodness! What are these toys doing out here?” Miss Karin bent down and picked up the two toys from the ground. “If I didn’t know better I would have thought you two were trying to escape.”

There Ain’t No Black Men in the Apocalypse

Good news everyone, we are successfully really behind the times.

I was watching Fear the Walking Dead last night with my daughter.  The first episode had a death that affected the major characters, it made sense, it was plausible. The black guy was a drug dealer but okay okay.  We were being progressive and giving the white girl a black boyfriend (although who doesn’t rebel against their parents with a black boyfriend am I right?) So we are still okay. But not really. Next thing I know it’s the second episode and all of the supporting black characters are dead. Well thank God for that we can’t have any black people around mucking up our end of the world scenario with their Blackness.  We truly needed to get rid of them as soon as possible.

It’s a little hard to swallow that a major television show, based on another very popular TV show, decides it cannot have black characters. Not only can it not have major black characters but it also needs to get rid of the supporting characters.  So what example do we set? Get rid of the black guy? This depresses me on so many levels.  You know what hat happens you guys? Do you know how difficult it is to find a show, a movie, a book, or something that features a black character as the main character?  It’s important to show diversity right? Well we are but sadly we have to kill the black guy.

I have dozens of ideas for stories unfortunately I’m always tasked with what to do. Should I make all the characters white and know the book (if ever published) will be popular because we get to read about white people. Or should I make the characters black like how I want to and hope and pray I can get something published and when I do it’s popular because people want to read about people regardless of their race.

Well whatever, enough of my ranting, back to watching my shows that only have white characters. Thank you very much.

Suffer the Little Children or Yeah we are going there again

Hello my little lovelies.  I wanted to let you in on a little piece of torture I plan on putting myself through again this year.  It’s called 3Day Novel.  One day a few years ago I was perusing writing contests and I came across this really great one called shhh, you guessed it 3Day Novel!  yeah! I signed up right away and along with the sign up I found an awesome group of people. If you ever want to talk to them they can be found here (well at least in 2015) if you are reading this in another year you’ll need to find your own link and FYI you are really far behind.

Anyway we get together every year all year long and we hang out, encourage, talk, vent, and exchange. It’s a pretty fun time and I’ve met two of them in person. Yeah I know what your thinking, “You met up with people online, didn’t they rape and murder you and aren’t you dead right now, OMG are you talking to us from beyond the grave, that is so cool and creepy and you went to Hell didn’t you” well yeah they didn’t kill me and they understood my weirdness.

So this year I jump into the fray writing a novel in 3 days, this year I plan on hanging out at one of my internet friend’s home, hopefully, if not I’ll try to barricade myself somewhere where my family cannot find me and I can pump out 10K words a day that don’t suck enough that I can get at least on the short list.  The contest does take a long time to judge, 4 to 5 months so if you are looking for a quick turn around you really came into the wrong profession.  I plan on writing an interesting tome about a woman who is haunted either by a child ghost or her imagination. It will be awesome, you’ll have to read it sometime.

If you have any plans later I hope you’ll spend it reading the other blogs associated with 3Day you can find one here. My 3Day brethren gives some really good advice for writing and they also find some of the best web sites for help with your writing, the best I can do is tell you to write.  Good luck!

POC need not apply

Now if you remember, and since you take careful notes when you read my blog I’m sure you do, I saw three movies last week and I’m here to tell you about the second one Ant-Man, now some fan/anti-fans are a little upset because one they decided to not do Hank Pym’s story but someone completely different, decided not to include The Wasp who is one of the original Avengers unlike Captain America, cause we don’t want to put a woman in a leading role that would be silly, and decided to show Hank Pym as a kindly old man (with a few anger issues) who was not a serial wife beater as he is in the comics because we all know movies stay faithful to their source material.  I didn’t know much of this (although I did know about The Wasp but woman don’t exist in the Marvel universe unless they are wearing skin tight cat suits and The Wasp’s costume didn’t quite match up so they had to ditch her), so I am just here to talk to you about the movie The Ant-Man and trust me there is plenty to be cross about so save your breath

Now lets see if we can go through the list here,

We’ve got the evil guy. Dammit make him bald or there will be hell to pay


Oh thank God I was so worried you were going to go in another direction but we dodged a bullet on that one.

Now next I’m going to need a female lead, make her strong with absolutely nothing to do.


Thanks, we want her to be good but not too good.

Now what don’t we have oh that’s right POC’s can you make them the comic relief? We don’t want them to get to uppity please.


Thanks. I appreciate that we are still doing the same thing in movies I didn’t want to see anything new. Whew!

Is that the best you can do?

I recently had a very proud moment my daughter Alyssa recently performed at the Newport Jazz Festival, twice. Once on Friday night which a preview performance can be found here ► Play all and once on Sunday acting in Jamie Cullun’s backup band.  I tell you this not only because I am very proud of my daughter who will one day be the best trombonist in the world (if she is not already) but because she had 3 hour practices every day for a week.  Well since she doesn’t have a drivers license I was luck enough to drive her to said practices, which were an hour away, YEAH!

So now you ask but Kritty what did you do for 3 hours, to which I tell you, I spent a lot of money.  I went to the movies I saw Southpaw, Ant-Man and Trainwreck. All of which are decent movies, out of all of them I think I liked Ant-Man the best however since I’m not a reviewer I can give you my notes about some stuff.

The first movie was Southpaw. I have the screaming thigh sweats for Jake Gyllenhaal so I was prepared to like it kinda ( I was really upset with him after seeing Nightcrawler) leave it to Jake Gyllenhaal to make me hate Jake Gyllenhaal for being a good actor. Anyway Southpaw was exactly what I expected (SPOILER ALERT) the white guy won. I know I know you’re surprised as I was.  They also had the “magic black guy” you know the black guy who comes in has troubles of his own but can solve the white guys problems because black guys have mystical powers.  let me let you in on something, No, black guys cannot solve everything, they don’t have all the answers although I guess my experience is limited to my brother who is currently funking up my home office. Maybe they can solve white guys problems but not there own.

Now I also must point out I went to this movie all by myself. What you say, how brave you say. Don’t get all excited there were at least two or three other guys in the movie theater all on there own.  We are the brave and strong the ones on our own.

Here’s a picture of Jake, see why I fall I love?


So remember that, Southpaw good movie if you want the white guy to win, like your black guys with the answers to everything and appreciate your ending semi happy.